It Just Had To Be That Way

I guess this is pretty much the beginning of my story, although some of my other songs are like prequels to what's going on in my life right now. Sometimes there are things you just shouldn't get involved with and she was one of those (but worth it!). You know how often a girl's father takes one look and decides you're never going to be good enough for the apple of his eye? Well this time it was the whole bunch of relatives, going as far up the family tree as the great grandma. And she was the fearsomest of all of them.

Anyways, to cut a long story short we made a run for it, and not in an entirely law-abiding way. I'm still on the run now, but that don't stop me putting my stuff on the Internet, nor seeing my girl every now and then. Oh yeah... that $1,000,000. Sounds like a lot of cash but that's the price on my head, for bringing me to what the family call 'justice'. I'd say it's more like revenge, but hey.

Damn, remind me not to go drinking whiskey with anyone again. "Someone once challenged Paul McCartney to write a song about art, so he wrote Picasso's Last Words. If you're a real songwriter, you do it!" was the challenge my drinking buddy laid on me.

Any sensible guy would have flipped the bird at him, but something at the back of my mind told me I could do it. And I did.

And it's better than Paul McCartney's song. Well I just would say that, wouldn't I?

I'm a great believer in telling a story how it is. But I was drinking whiskey in a bar with this guy who challenged me to write a song entirely in metaphor. "Meta-what?" was my reply to that. So he said I had to tell one story that if you read between the lines told another story entirely.

I was feeling pretty intoxicated by this time so the idea came to me pretty much right away. On the one hand the song's about distilling illegal liquor. On the other, it's about me and my girl. I didn't find it too hard to write 'cause this is the kind of thing we do all the time anyways.

This song's about the way I feel about my girl, pure and simple. We've come a long way together since I first went on the run. If we can't be together all the time, well at least I can write songs about her. Jeez though - her family. What in god's earth they so don't like about me I just can't guess. Maybe it's my guitar. Can't be my long hair 'cause I cut it short after seeing my face on those wanted posters.

"Why don't you write me a real love song?" is what my girl asked me. In my mind pretty much every song I've written is a love song for her. But she wants a 'real' one, so here it is...

I've got to tell you that when she heard it, she didn't speak to me for a week. But I'm a smooth talker when I want to be and I brought her round. Anyways, I think it's probably the most romantic love song of the 21st century - until I write one that's even more so!

By the way, my girl is one hell of a painting, but I just loved that line!

This is one of those prequel songs I talk about elsewhere, from the days when I didn't have to keep my head down low. I always like to say that my songs are made up and don't say nothing about me. But this one's for real, about my first date with my girl. Hey, I'd like to tell you her name, but I'm in trouble enough myself and I don't want to bring her into it any more than she is already. She sticks by me though and that's why I love her.

I always believe in being a real gentleman around a lady and the song tells the story pretty much like it happened. And a real gentleman ain't in too much of a hurry.

Now just 'cause my songs are mostly uptempo don't mean I can't write a sad song every now and then. I wrote this when I thought my girl had busted up with me. Seeing that I'm on the run and mostly hiding out in Europe, I can't see my girl as much as I'd like to, and we have to send messages and stuff. Now when those messages stopped coming back, I feared for the worst. Turned out she'd dropped her iPhone down the john. Aw heck, at least I got a good song out of it.

One of the 'joys' of lying low is that you can spend a lot of time watching TV. And if you think American TV is bad, wait till you see what it's like in Europe. Their programs are not even in English most of the time! That's why I like to hole up in the United Kingdom of England when I can. But not Scotland or Wales 'cause their TV is in foreign too.

The hook of this song came to me word for word from the mouth of a TV talent show judge - "It isn't real until you believe it" was his comment. I'm not going to say who it was, or what the program was, 'cause I don't want my ass sued off. I ain't got no money so it won't do them no good anyway. And the song's better than anything I ever heard on that show!

Europe's a pretty nice place once you get to know it, but I can't be bothered with all those languages and stuff. I just speak English till I find someone who understands my favorite words - steak, fries and beer. This song's about a guy I met in the United Kingdom of England (I think they call it) who is the spit of me. Dang me, he can even talk some of good old George Washington's American English when he tries hard. And he can sing some, but not so good as me if the truth be told.

He's a handy guy for me to keep in contact with 'cause if ever I need to keep my head down, he can show for me. But as far as the words of the song go, it's all pure fiction! Don't go getting any funny ideas or stuff.

Why my girl is crazy enough to stick around with me, I just don't know. But there came a point where she had to choose. Her family hates me with a passion, for a reason I just don't know. Being a musician maybe - with them it don't take much. But she loves her folks, and I don't have any problem with that. I could see that running off with me and splitting with her family caused my girl a whole heap of pain.

This song's not exactly about that, but it's about a guy whose girl needs to make a hard choice. And instead of being a jerk, which most guys would, he's helping her come to the right decision. I think I done good with this one.